As busy women, sometimes developing our relationship with your husband can be difficult to make a priority. Especially after you have children! My husband and I found this out the hard way last year when we let our marriage take the back burner as we adjusted to parenthood. This year, we are attempting re-connect with each other and build our friendship.
The following is a list of ideas I complied to improve your marriage by staying connected and improving quality time together.
How to Connect with Your Spouse
1. Make time. Sometimes circumstances don’t allow you to have much control of your schedule. However, you can control how you spend your free time. Use it wisely and invest in what matters most.
2. Schedule a Date Night. It is suggested by many marriage counselors that married couples should go out for at least one date night a month, especially if you have kids. I personally think date nights at home (after the children are in bed) can be just as nice and often much less stress than trying to get out. However, getting out once in awhile is important and should be done every once in awhile.
3. Have lunch together. Meet during the day for a meal and conversation. This doesn’t have to expensive or unhealthy. Take your sack lunch to a nearby park instead of heading to a restaurant.
4. Take a walk together. Or go running! This is a great way to relieve stress at the end of the day or help you wake up in the morning. Bring you kids along and make it a family affair.
5. Get up and go to bed at the same time. Try to get on the same sleeping schedule. This can’t always be done (especially once the kids come along), but it’s nice when it happens.
6. Make and pack your spouse’s lunch. Getting up early in the morning to do this really shows your love. Not only that, but you get the opportunity to send them off with a goodbye kiss.
7. Do chores or run errands together. You will find out a lot about your husband’s quirks during these times. And find out that you have some of your own!
8. Set aside time for daily conversation/discussion. Over dinner. After the kid’s are in bed. During a walk. It doesn’t matter when or where, just make sure your are communicating.
9. Play together. Play cards, a board game or video games… or even tag or hide-and-seek. Men love it when their wives make an effort to have fun with them.
10. Get involved with your husband’s hobbies once in awhile. This is especially meaningful if your spouse knows you are not interested in their hobby, but are making an effort.
11. Go to bed early… And don’t go to sleep. We all know sex is an important aspect of marriage. It’s more than just physical. It connects you emotionally and spiritually as well. Try for at least once a week.
12. Make out. Get physical without it leading to sex. During commercial breaks, in the car… you get the idea.
13. Try to take a weekend away. If you plan and save, this is possible. Honestly, I don’t know many people who actually do this more than once a year (if that!), but it’s a nice goal to have.
14. Shower or take a bath together. Enough said.
15. Flirt with each other. Flirting come easily when dating, but often dies a sad, lonely death in marriages. As awkward as it may seem at first, some things that must remain unsaid during the dating and engagement period are not considered inappropriate between a married couple. I’ll leave it at that…
16. Send each other emails, texts, or other messages. Sappy messages or a simple “How’s your day?” are a great way to stay connected when apart. This is especially important if your spouse has to work a lot.
17. Cook a meal together. A fun way to share the load and develop your teamwork skills… Try a new recipe!
18. Read a book together. Take turns reading a chapter out loud. Or read the same book at the same time and discuss. Reading before bed is a great way to relax before trying to sleep.
19. Dance. Take lessons or just turn on music and break out some moves in your living room!
20. Have a Movie Night at home. Or make a day of it and have a Movie Marathon! Turn the phones off, wear something comfortable and snuggle up to a good movie and some popcorn (or whatever you want to eat).
21. Have a candlelight dinner. Don’t save it for your anniversary or Valentine’s Day. Break out the fancy dishes, tablecloth, and wine (or sparkling grape juice) and enjoy a nice, romantic dinner for two.
22. Hold hands often. Have you ever seen an old couple holding hands? It’s the sweetest thing ever! Hugs are nice too… and kisses…
23. Read the Bible together. This is one of the most important things to make time for! Growing in your faith together will strengthen your connection with each other.
24. Memorize Scripture together. Your spouse can be a great accountability partner for this. Check out my Book to Brain Scripture Memory Challenge for a Bible passage (complete with printables!) to memorize each month.
25. Pray together. Pray for your marriage. Pray for one another. Pray for you children. Also, be sure to thank God every day for the blessing of your husband.
*BONUS TIP: Say “Thank you” and “I love you” often. These are the best words to hear from the one with whom you’ve committed to spend the rest of your life. Make a point to say them at least once a day.
While this is not an exhaustive list of the ways to re-connect with your spouse, I hope it will help you to get creative and motivate you to take initiative in building your marriage relationship. Don’t wait for the perfect time to start, connect with your husband today!
What do you do to stay connected with your husband?
Photo credit: Amanda Eaton Photography
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